Terry Allen and the Panhandle Mystery Band: There Oughta Be a Law Against Sunny Southern California Bumper Sticker

Put some illegal vibrations on that bumper, and show the open road how you truly feel about SoCal. A ferocious full-band reprise of “There Oughta Be a Law Against Sunny Southern California,” originally released on Terry Allen‘s immortal 1975 debut album Juarez, appears on 1983’s Bloodlines—you can buy our deluxe reissues of both records here.

Printed on thick, durable vinyl this 3″ x 11.5″ bumper sticker is resistant to scratches, sun, and water. (It’s probably not resistant to switchblades, however; the fabulous Jo Harvey Allen brought the one pictured back from Tijuana; you can also find it on the back cover of Bloodlines.)

The song itself recounts a larcenous and murderous episode of Allen’s multidisciplinary JUAREZ body of work, starring its antiheros, the Juarez-born pachuco Jabo and the bruja Chic Blundie. Don’t get it twisted.

THERE OUGHTA BE A LAW AGAINST SUNNY SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA

chorus: WELL I’M GOIN BACK
GOIN HOME AGAIN
YEAH I’M GOIN BACK
TO MY OWN AGAIN
YEAH I’M GOIN BACK
AHHH TO MY HOME TOWN
THE ONE THAT PUT ME OUT
THE ONE THAT LAID ME DOWN

WELL I WIRED UP A CAR IN EAST FONTANA
I WAS A’HEADED FOR SAN BERDU
AHHH MY MIDNIGHT OIL
IT WAS ON THE BOIL
AN BOY I WAS A’BARREL’N THROUGH
THEN I TOOK A TURN
BUT I HIT THE CURB
AN SPUN OFF THE CENTER LANE
AN WHEN I HEARD THE CRASH
WELL I STOMPED THE GAS
AND I WAS BARREL’N THROUGH AGAIN

I LEAVE A FEW PEOPLE DEAD
BUT I GOT OPEN ROAD AHEAD
YEAH
I LEAVE A FEW PEOPLE DEAD
BUT I GOT OPEN ROAD AHEAD

AN I REMEMBER THE COP
WITH HIS SLICKED-BACK HAIR
WHEN HE TOLD ME
TO GET OUT A’HERE
AN I REMEMBER THE JUDGE
WITH HIS GOLD PLATED MOUTH
HE SAID “GO LIVE IN THE NORTH
YOU GOTTA DIE DOWN SOUTH”

YOU GONNA DIE DOWN SOUTH

chorus

I WENT FLYIN THROUGH SOUTH SAN BERDU
WITH MY MIND ON EAST L.A.
WHERE MY PACHUCO QUEEN
SHE’S COOKIN RE-FRIED BEANS
AN SHE’S WAITIN FOR ME TODAY
YEAH STOPPED ON OFF AT THE LIQUOR STORE
MADE EVERY BODY LAY DOWN ON THE FLOOR
TOOK ALL THEIR WHISKEY
TOOK ALL THEIR BREAD
THEN SHOT OUT THEIR LIGHTS
JUST BEFORE I FLED

YEAH
I LEAVE A FEW PEOPLE DEAD
BUT I GOT OPEN ROAD AHEAD
YEAH
I LEAVE A FEW PEOPLE DEAD
BUT I GOT OPEN ROAD AHEAD

AN I REMEMBER THE BITCH
WHOSE BLACK TONGUE LIED
WHEN SHE TOLD ME
SHE’S DIS-SATISFIED
AN I REMEMBER HER DADDY
BIG AS A TRUCK
HE SAID “FUCK WITH ME BOY
IF YOU WANT TO FUCK”

YEAH, FUCK WITH ME BOY
IF YOU WANT TO FUCK

chorus

SO THERE OUGHTA BE A LAW
AGAINST SUNNY SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA
YEAH THERE OUGHTA BE A LAW
AGAINST PUTTIN THE DEVIL
BEHIND THE WHEEL …
CAUSE AS LONG AS YOU PEOPLE ARE GONNA SANCTION SUCH AN EVIL
WELL I’M GONNA TURN YOUR ASPHALT
BACK INTO BRIMSTONE
YEAH YOU GOD DAMNED BET
I WILL